Thanks so much for your thoughts and prayers ... Javan is doing much better! We're just working on fattening him up now:) At least he's asking for something to eat. Thankfully neither J or I got the virus.
Pop
1 year ago
31 July 2008
On the Mend
Thanks so much for your thoughts and prayers ... Javan is doing much better! We're just working on fattening him up now:) At least he's asking for something to eat. Thankfully neither J or I got the virus.
30 July 2008
1 in 150: Luke’s Story
I’ll never forget October 4, 2005 – it was the day I found out I was pregnant with Javan, but it was also the day I learned of Luke’s diagnosis. After our work out, I sensed Stephanie had something to tell me but she didn’t. Later that evening she called me. Luke had autism. The last 2.5yrs have been tough. Her family continues to fight and believe that Luke will be healed but it’s a constant struggle. One particular day last year I stopped by her house just to say hi. I never expected to have her open the door crying. She couldn’t talk. She was so distraught. We hugged for the longest time … in silence … then I left to run an errand for her. And that’s when it hit me. We will never know what its like to live with autism (or any other disorder for that matter). We will never know what it does to families, but most of all we will never know how much it takes away from the life of the child it attacks.
A few months ago Luke’s story was published in Stephanie’s hometown newspaper and in the Cleveland Daily Banner. This is an EXTREMELY condensed version but I want to share it – I hope you will read it, but more so I hope you will pray for Luke and his healing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Every well-check visit was the same. Luke was on target with his development. Other than some ear infections, he was healthy. He smiled a lot, said several words, played peek-a-boo and ate almost anything put in front of him. I mean, who would refuse pureed peas and chicken? Ironically, it was during the time of normal development that I first heard the word autism. Someone suggested I check with my pediatrician about a link between vaccines and autism. I did. He laughed. End of story.
A year and a half later, he would confirm the diagnosis of autism. Looking back, the day of Luke’s first birthday party, he developed a high fever. I commented that he was not acting right. From 12 to 18 months, his development had some spotted regression that was so subtle we didn’t recognize it at the time. After Luke’s 18-month vaccines, he became locked in a world all his own. Gone were the games of peek-a-boo. Gone were his words. His food choices became very specific and limited. He developed uncontrollable tantrums. He had constant diarrhea. He lined his toys up incessantly. He never looked me in the eyes. He never said mama again.
In April, I delivered our second baby. Due to lack of sleep and adjusting to a second child at home, we passed Luke’s behavior off as the terrible twos, although a growing concern always stayed in the corner of my mind and chipped away at my heart. In July, I decided to contact an early intervention service to have his speech checked. That was the second time I heard the word autism. The speech pathologist said she saw some red flags of autism. I cried the entire way home. My husband didn’t know what autism was. Looking back, I didn’t fully know either, but something in my heart told me it was true. Something also told me the road ahead would be a tough one. I had no idea how tough.
The next year was a blur of tests, evaluations and therapists in our home many hours a day. In total, Luke received 30-35 hours per week in Applied Behavior Analysis (A.B.A. therapy), speech therapy, occupational therapy and instruction in special classrooms. We were told about a biomedical approach called Defeat Autism Now (D.A.N.) and found a physician in our area that treated autistic children with this method. Luke had developed allergies to wheat and milk, so we began changing his diet, which was a huge feat in itself. Tests showed he was deficient in many vitamins and minerals. Tests also showed he had high levels of toxic heavy metals. We began an intensive supplementation regime. Months later Luke began chelation therapy, a process that helps the body detoxify heavy metals. Luke has also undergone hyperbaric oxygen therapy, which helps to heal the brain.
We have seen gains from all these therapies. I do believe, however, our strong faith in God and his power to bring healing to Luke has been the catalyst behind every successful avenue we have pursued. God has brought tremendous people into our lives who have contributed to Luke’s success. I wish I could thank them all individually through this article. Space does not allow, but you know who you are. Thank you. We are still taking one step at a time.
Today, Luke is very different from three years ago. He spends much of his day at preschool with typical peers. He follows routines and accepts changes in that routine with few tantrums. He has good eye contact, smiles and laughs a lot. He enjoys playing (and fighting) with his brother, Nathan. He loves to hug and give high fives. He has receptive language that is almost on target. While his expressive language still lags behind at around 50 words, it is growing. He communicates his needs and wants well through gestures and some signs. As we learn about his world, he’s learning about ours too. We both have to make compromises for the other to understand. It is a lesson in love and patience like none we have ever had. While it is difficult at times, it is always worth it. Every day, we see this truth a little more clearly; there is hope for autism.
Autism affects 1 in 150 children and is more prevalent in boys. Unfortunately, the numbers are growing at a rapid rate. Early intervention is crucial for any child with a developmental delay. If you suspect there is a delay in a child that is three or under, contact an early intervention service as soon as possible. If your child is older than three, contact your local school system.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So that’s Luke’s story but there’s also Stephanie’s story. This poem she wrote back in April says it all - its very personal but very open and honest:
The ups and downs that seem to never end
One day, recovery seems in sight
The next it has slipped away again
Hopes dashed
Dreams shattered
Alone, I feel so alone.
Yet, I know I’m not
I’m a part of a multitude
Yet, we all know this feeling of loneliness
Communication is broken, if there at all
Normal, whatever that is, is unknown
The simple is complicated
Leaving us with baby steps
Our minds and hearts race forward
Yet we’re forced to contain our steps to inches…
Or less.
The joys are high
Yet, more common to us is the sorrow
And it is very low.
Some days, there’s a fight within
A fight to conquer the greatest of enemies
On other days, most days, there are questions
Questions that really have no answer
I don’t want to give up
But I would like to rest
And I would like to regain me
Somewhere in all of this, I have been lost
Just as Luke was lost.
Yet, no one notices that I’m gone.
I’m fighting to bring Luke back
But no one is fighting for me
The truth lies only in my lord
I know he will never let me go
Even when I can’t feel it
He is fighting for me
And he is fighting for Luke
But most days, that truth eludes me
And I feel alone and lost
Yet I cannot hide
And I cannot rest
And I cannot take the time
To look for me
I must find Luke first
And once I do, maybe then…
I’ll look for me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm so proud of Stephanie for living even though it would seem easier to give up. She continues to fight and pray for Luke's healing. In June, Steph had the opportunity to meet Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carrey at the Green Our Vaccine Rally in DC. Last night she returned from a month long stay in Birmingham (Luke had hyperbaric oxygen therapy) and next month the cycle starts over again. But she's still fighting. Stephanie - I love you so much and I am so thankful to have you as one of my very best friends. You are a true inspiration and you will never know just how much you have taught me. Thank you for always being there for me, even in your darkest hours. You know we're believing with you and Matt.
Happy Birthday my dear, happy happy birthday!!!
~ Veryll
A few months ago Luke’s story was published in Stephanie’s hometown newspaper and in the Cleveland Daily Banner. This is an EXTREMELY condensed version but I want to share it – I hope you will read it, but more so I hope you will pray for Luke and his healing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Every well-check visit was the same. Luke was on target with his development. Other than some ear infections, he was healthy. He smiled a lot, said several words, played peek-a-boo and ate almost anything put in front of him. I mean, who would refuse pureed peas and chicken? Ironically, it was during the time of normal development that I first heard the word autism. Someone suggested I check with my pediatrician about a link between vaccines and autism. I did. He laughed. End of story.
A year and a half later, he would confirm the diagnosis of autism. Looking back, the day of Luke’s first birthday party, he developed a high fever. I commented that he was not acting right. From 12 to 18 months, his development had some spotted regression that was so subtle we didn’t recognize it at the time. After Luke’s 18-month vaccines, he became locked in a world all his own. Gone were the games of peek-a-boo. Gone were his words. His food choices became very specific and limited. He developed uncontrollable tantrums. He had constant diarrhea. He lined his toys up incessantly. He never looked me in the eyes. He never said mama again.
In April, I delivered our second baby. Due to lack of sleep and adjusting to a second child at home, we passed Luke’s behavior off as the terrible twos, although a growing concern always stayed in the corner of my mind and chipped away at my heart. In July, I decided to contact an early intervention service to have his speech checked. That was the second time I heard the word autism. The speech pathologist said she saw some red flags of autism. I cried the entire way home. My husband didn’t know what autism was. Looking back, I didn’t fully know either, but something in my heart told me it was true. Something also told me the road ahead would be a tough one. I had no idea how tough.
The next year was a blur of tests, evaluations and therapists in our home many hours a day. In total, Luke received 30-35 hours per week in Applied Behavior Analysis (A.B.A. therapy), speech therapy, occupational therapy and instruction in special classrooms. We were told about a biomedical approach called Defeat Autism Now (D.A.N.) and found a physician in our area that treated autistic children with this method. Luke had developed allergies to wheat and milk, so we began changing his diet, which was a huge feat in itself. Tests showed he was deficient in many vitamins and minerals. Tests also showed he had high levels of toxic heavy metals. We began an intensive supplementation regime. Months later Luke began chelation therapy, a process that helps the body detoxify heavy metals. Luke has also undergone hyperbaric oxygen therapy, which helps to heal the brain.
We have seen gains from all these therapies. I do believe, however, our strong faith in God and his power to bring healing to Luke has been the catalyst behind every successful avenue we have pursued. God has brought tremendous people into our lives who have contributed to Luke’s success. I wish I could thank them all individually through this article. Space does not allow, but you know who you are. Thank you. We are still taking one step at a time.
Today, Luke is very different from three years ago. He spends much of his day at preschool with typical peers. He follows routines and accepts changes in that routine with few tantrums. He has good eye contact, smiles and laughs a lot. He enjoys playing (and fighting) with his brother, Nathan. He loves to hug and give high fives. He has receptive language that is almost on target. While his expressive language still lags behind at around 50 words, it is growing. He communicates his needs and wants well through gestures and some signs. As we learn about his world, he’s learning about ours too. We both have to make compromises for the other to understand. It is a lesson in love and patience like none we have ever had. While it is difficult at times, it is always worth it. Every day, we see this truth a little more clearly; there is hope for autism.
Autism affects 1 in 150 children and is more prevalent in boys. Unfortunately, the numbers are growing at a rapid rate. Early intervention is crucial for any child with a developmental delay. If you suspect there is a delay in a child that is three or under, contact an early intervention service as soon as possible. If your child is older than three, contact your local school system.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So that’s Luke’s story but there’s also Stephanie’s story. This poem she wrote back in April says it all - its very personal but very open and honest:
The ups and downs that seem to never end
One day, recovery seems in sight
The next it has slipped away again
Hopes dashed
Dreams shattered
Alone, I feel so alone.
Yet, I know I’m not
I’m a part of a multitude
Yet, we all know this feeling of loneliness
Communication is broken, if there at all
Normal, whatever that is, is unknown
The simple is complicated
Leaving us with baby steps
Our minds and hearts race forward
Yet we’re forced to contain our steps to inches…
Or less.
The joys are high
Yet, more common to us is the sorrow
And it is very low.
Some days, there’s a fight within
A fight to conquer the greatest of enemies
On other days, most days, there are questions
Questions that really have no answer
I don’t want to give up
But I would like to rest
And I would like to regain me
Somewhere in all of this, I have been lost
Just as Luke was lost.
Yet, no one notices that I’m gone.
I’m fighting to bring Luke back
But no one is fighting for me
The truth lies only in my lord
I know he will never let me go
Even when I can’t feel it
He is fighting for me
And he is fighting for Luke
But most days, that truth eludes me
And I feel alone and lost
Yet I cannot hide
And I cannot rest
And I cannot take the time
To look for me
I must find Luke first
And once I do, maybe then…
I’ll look for me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm so proud of Stephanie for living even though it would seem easier to give up. She continues to fight and pray for Luke's healing. In June, Steph had the opportunity to meet Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carrey at the Green Our Vaccine Rally in DC. Last night she returned from a month long stay in Birmingham (Luke had hyperbaric oxygen therapy) and next month the cycle starts over again. But she's still fighting. Stephanie - I love you so much and I am so thankful to have you as one of my very best friends. You are a true inspiration and you will never know just how much you have taught me. Thank you for always being there for me, even in your darkest hours. You know we're believing with you and Matt.
Happy Birthday my dear, happy happy birthday!!!
~ Veryll
28 July 2008
Motherhood - a complete package!
I feel like I've spent the last several hours cleaning up puke and poop. Javan woke up screaming at midnight. J went to his room only to find puke all over the bed and on Javan. Anyone who knows me, knows I dont do well with this kind of stuff so J pretty much took charge. He got Javan's room stripped down, cleaned out and sanitized (all this close to 1am mind you) and started a load of washing while I was tried to settle Javan down. I sat in the rocker hoping he would fall asleep but he started crying again. I race to the bathroom cos I knew what was coming but we barely made it. He threw up on the bathroom floor and on the newly cleaned carpets! I felt so bad for him:( An hour later I managed to get him to sleep but at this point I was over exhausted and could not sleep.
This morning I decided to stay home with him instead of sending him to school. I was so exhausted and he was so miserable. He wanted his shake shake so I gave it to him. Not even 10mins later he started to complain so I tried to get him to the bathroom but he wouldnt go, got a bucket for him to throw up in but he refused. The minute i put the bucket away, he threw up all over the kitchen floor, on the cabinets and fridge. I felt so hopeless that I started crying which of cos made him cry even more. I finally managed to clean up the mess and settle him down. We made it a good stretch with out throw up and dirty dipes but then it started again. I was on the phone and at the same time I felt my legs get wet while hearing him throw up. GROSS! I about had it. It was after 5pm and J couldnt get home any sooner. Except when he got home, Javan still wanted to cling to me and J decided to do some gardening .... I feel like I need a vacation. Seriously! Now they're both at the mall - I really hope Javan hasn't thrown up again but most of all I want this darn virus out of our house.
here's my patient - he decided he wanted to stay in his diaper and play with his easter basket today. fine with me!
~Veryll
This morning I decided to stay home with him instead of sending him to school. I was so exhausted and he was so miserable. He wanted his shake shake so I gave it to him. Not even 10mins later he started to complain so I tried to get him to the bathroom but he wouldnt go, got a bucket for him to throw up in but he refused. The minute i put the bucket away, he threw up all over the kitchen floor, on the cabinets and fridge. I felt so hopeless that I started crying which of cos made him cry even more. I finally managed to clean up the mess and settle him down. We made it a good stretch with out throw up and dirty dipes but then it started again. I was on the phone and at the same time I felt my legs get wet while hearing him throw up. GROSS! I about had it. It was after 5pm and J couldnt get home any sooner. Except when he got home, Javan still wanted to cling to me and J decided to do some gardening .... I feel like I need a vacation. Seriously! Now they're both at the mall - I really hope Javan hasn't thrown up again but most of all I want this darn virus out of our house.
here's my patient - he decided he wanted to stay in his diaper and play with his easter basket today. fine with me!
~Veryll
27 July 2008
Oops
Javan and I weren't feeling that great this morning - pure exhaustion and the onset of a minor cold just took its toll on our bodies so I decided we'd stay home and send J to church (hopefully he represented us!). Anyways, we were all out of shake shake, (the definition of yogurt according to Javan) so I had to run to good ol' Wal-mart. Javan of cos wants to hear 'eiei' (aka Old McDonald). The roads were empty and so I wasn't really paying attention. Next thing I know, I'm watching a cop turn around and follow me. Oh boy. The lights go on so I pull over, roll my window down, exchange a few pleasantries and turn over my license and registration to her. She comes back and tells me that she caught me doing 63 in a 45. Yikes. And thats a $189 ticket. Double yikes. Our conversation ends with her saying, 'I know there's a lot you could do with that money, so do me a favour and watch your speed. Drive carefully ok?' Phew! This was the first time I've been stopped by a cop and I really think 'eiei' and Javan helped me out of this!
~Veryll
~Veryll
Scrambled Quiche
Katie and Randy came over with little Rody for brunch Saturday morning. Rody has grown so much since we last saw him - can't believe he's already 4mths old.
we had choc chip pancakes which Javan helped make
blueberry muffins, fruit salad (wtih fresh blueberries that Randy picked!) and a scrambled quiche (don't ask!) Javan loved playing with Rody ...
... that is until he fell asleep!
and when it was time for him to leave, he wanted to make sure he was buckled in!
We had a fun time guys - cant wait for the olympic party:)
~V
we had choc chip pancakes which Javan helped make
blueberry muffins, fruit salad (wtih fresh blueberries that Randy picked!) and a scrambled quiche (don't ask!) Javan loved playing with Rody ...
... that is until he fell asleep!
and when it was time for him to leave, he wanted to make sure he was buckled in!
We had a fun time guys - cant wait for the olympic party:)~V
And here's Javan's take on the wedding!
While I was busy J and Javan had the chance to roam around Whitestone - here's what Javan thought of the wedding fetivities!
new heights to climb
lotsa places to roam
flowers to pick and smell
and a horse to look at!
even new music to listen to!
the flower girl decides to chase me
new heights to climb
lotsa places to roam
flowers to pick and smell
and a horse to look at!
even new music to listen to!
the flower girl decides to chase me
so we had a little chat
and she let in on some secrets:)
got to check out the lights on the dance floor
and end the night with a dance with my mama:)
a perfect time indeed:)
He really did have a great time and he was so good and a true sport. when it was an hour past his bedtime he barely complained. I love my little man and am so thankful that we can take him pretty much anywhere!
~Veryll
Kim's Wedding
Kim, a former co-worker of mine, got married on Friday night and I had the honour of helping her. It was a beautiful ceremony and reception. Her colours were champagne, black and green. Lisa (another co-worker/friend of mine) baked the cake for the wedding - this was the first time she did a wedding cake and she did a fabulous job! Here's a few pics from the evening:
Kim had her great-grandmothers brooch and Tim's grandmothers wedding ring tied on her bouquet
lisa's beauty! it tasted good too!
~Veryll
Kim had her great-grandmothers brooch and Tim's grandmothers wedding ring tied on her bouquet
lisa's beauty! it tasted good too!
~Veryll
26 July 2008
Going to the Chapel
We went to a wedding at Whitestone Inn in Kingston, TN last night and it was beautiful! We had actually looked into this place for our wedding (we didnt use it cos the reception hall wouldn't accomodate our numbers) so it was nice to finally visit and actually see the place after hearing so much about it. We loved it - hopefully we can go back soon. Most of the pics J took since I was busy with wedding stuff and I'll share more of them later. In the mean time, here's a few. I love this one of the chapel that he took:
I'm so proud of Javan. We picked him up from school on Friday, picked up Lisa and the cake and headed out of Cleveland. The drive was a little over an hour. When we got there, he didnt get a chance to play with me but J entertained him and they ran around. But he did see me going from chapel to reception hall and really wanted me so he had a meltdown. I did feel bad for him cos usually we come home and play so this was very much out of his normal routine. So I held him for a bit and then he was fine. During the ceremony he was AWESOME! he watched the processional and listened to everything going on. When I was talking to the bagpiper in the foyer he spotted me through a mirror and shouted 'Mummy'! He wasn't upset or anything cos he thought I was playing a game with him with that mirror but that was definitely J's cue to get him out the chapel!
~V
I'm so proud of Javan. We picked him up from school on Friday, picked up Lisa and the cake and headed out of Cleveland. The drive was a little over an hour. When we got there, he didnt get a chance to play with me but J entertained him and they ran around. But he did see me going from chapel to reception hall and really wanted me so he had a meltdown. I did feel bad for him cos usually we come home and play so this was very much out of his normal routine. So I held him for a bit and then he was fine. During the ceremony he was AWESOME! he watched the processional and listened to everything going on. When I was talking to the bagpiper in the foyer he spotted me through a mirror and shouted 'Mummy'! He wasn't upset or anything cos he thought I was playing a game with him with that mirror but that was definitely J's cue to get him out the chapel!
~V
24 July 2008
A Universal Superpower!
While catching up with an old college friend through her blog, one particular post (My Superpower) caught my attention. I was excited to find that I too have that same superpower! I had actually written about mine a year ago but never shared it but now I'm going to. I don't feel the need to preface anything but I do want to reiterate that this is MY personal experience - the keyword being MY. I would hope that no one is offended by reading this, but if you are remember this is MY experience.
So what's my superpower?
I make (well made!) milk! Yes this is a breastfeeding post - feel free to skip if you’re so inclined!
It’s been 8mths since my superpower has worked but I have a few friends currently breastfeeding so the topic is often talked about. My original thoughts were written in August 2007 following a conversation with a friend at church. She had always been very encouraging and supportive about breastfeeding. She just wanted to let me know how proud she was of the fact that Javan was almost a year old and even though I was back at work full time I was still breastfeeding.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was never a question as to whether I would breastfeed or not. It's what I knew you were supposed to do. But, I think that mind-set is also attributed to my culture and how I was raised. More than anything though, breastfeeding was just a natural process in the whole conception-pregnancy-labour-delivery-postpartum cycle and I knew it's what my body was meant to do. I found it amusing when asked if I would breastfeed. But I had to remind myself that I was in America and well society here is bombarded with choices for everything so naturally breast milk for your child is a choice too. Don't get me wrong. I was a formula fed baby - but it was mostly due to the fact that my mum couldn't keep up with feeding 2 babies. I don’t see anything wrong with formula but my choice for my baby was breastmilk.
Javan was a natural and latched on perfectly within an hour of his birth. I was in awe that this little person knew exactly what to do to have his needs met! But OMG did I cry - it hurt so much. At one point my nurse said to me 'you just endured childbirth without any meds and you're crying over this. Why?' I guess I was a wimp! That first week was HARD. Yikes. The pain increased and I was never so frustrated in my life. All I wanted to do was cry. So I cried and cried while J or my mum would comfort the baby or me and just sit with me while we worked through this. And work through it I did. My first goal was to make it 6wks. I knew once I passed that mark it could only get easier. And it did. I set a new goal. This time it was 3mths. Javan and I settled into a great routine. I was happy and content to be his provider.
I have to admit though that there were times I was so over it. I really wanted my body back. I was one of those unlucky few whose body didn’t get the 'get skinny while bfing memo'. Yea at first I dropped weight FAST. But then it stalled for a bit so I started working out which apparently did me no good cos my body thought it was being starved and clung to those extra pounds. I was dizzy, weak and exhausted all the time. I remember so clearly almost passing out after I fed him one day. Did I really want to feel like this all the time? And then one by one friends who had babies around the time I had Javan started to quit breastfeeding cos it was ‘inconvenient’ but every time I held my baby and fed him I knew that whatever he was getting from me was so much more important than whatever was convenient. So I decided to keep going. I had made it this far so what’s another month or two, maybe even three...
I returned to work full time when Javan was 17wks old and the pump became my close friend. Every day was a game for me. How many ounces could I get today? Could I beat yesterday's batch! I was a crazy pumping machine which provided much amusement to my very supportive husband. Our freezer was taken over by breast milk! A new goal was set: this time 6mths, then 9mths and then finally 12mths. Javan and I trudged along. We were really pros at this point!
My only struggle (thankfully) was plugged ducts and I did get engorged a lot. Those were not fun times but they I was able to manage the pain and pumping did help this. I finally retired that pump when Javan was 3wks shy of his first birthday. I was so sick of it by this time. I'd carry it to the office and then would go home and have nothing to put in the freezer. Finally I just decided I'd had enough. Javan didn't want to have his milk from a bottle or sippy, he just wanted me to feed him so what was the point anyway?
The day Javan turned one, I was so excited. I had made through a whole year of breastfeeding. My baby has not a cold, ear infection, or any other illness except for a slight fever before his second tooth broke through and I know the fact that he was breastfed really played a major part in keeping him healthy.
Since his first birthday I've been in the process of weaning him. It's not been easy for both of us. I find myself sad sometimes but I am ready to be done. I want to focus on me now but at the same time I know I will miss this special bond we have. The first day I dropped a feeding, he was so mad and followed me around signing milk, so I gave in and fed him. Since then I've kinda let it happen on its own. He's self-weaning and it's so much easier that way. Hopefully he’ll be done at 15mths.
I know I might sound self-absorbed by saying this but I really am proud of myself. I can see how easy it would be to give up, but with all things its just takes determination and focus. I knew I had that. I'm glad I had this great experience the first time and know what I am capable of doing so next time around I won't have any excuses!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
* So thats my experience. Javan ended up weaning at 17mths. He wasn’t ready to give up his night session so I decided not to rush it. I didnt pick a specific day to stop but one night decided to give him a sippy with milk. He took it kinda confused at first but then it was no big deal! It was pretty sad to say goodbye to such a special relationship but I was happy to have bfed him that long. What was kinda annoying was the week after he completely weaned he got his first cold. Anyways I hope this will maybe encourage anyone who is currently bfing (or maybe even thinking of doing so) to keep at it and not give up when it gets challenging.
~V
So what's my superpower?
I make (well made!) milk! Yes this is a breastfeeding post - feel free to skip if you’re so inclined!
It’s been 8mths since my superpower has worked but I have a few friends currently breastfeeding so the topic is often talked about. My original thoughts were written in August 2007 following a conversation with a friend at church. She had always been very encouraging and supportive about breastfeeding. She just wanted to let me know how proud she was of the fact that Javan was almost a year old and even though I was back at work full time I was still breastfeeding.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was never a question as to whether I would breastfeed or not. It's what I knew you were supposed to do. But, I think that mind-set is also attributed to my culture and how I was raised. More than anything though, breastfeeding was just a natural process in the whole conception-pregnancy-labour-delivery-postpartum cycle and I knew it's what my body was meant to do. I found it amusing when asked if I would breastfeed. But I had to remind myself that I was in America and well society here is bombarded with choices for everything so naturally breast milk for your child is a choice too. Don't get me wrong. I was a formula fed baby - but it was mostly due to the fact that my mum couldn't keep up with feeding 2 babies. I don’t see anything wrong with formula but my choice for my baby was breastmilk.
Javan was a natural and latched on perfectly within an hour of his birth. I was in awe that this little person knew exactly what to do to have his needs met! But OMG did I cry - it hurt so much. At one point my nurse said to me 'you just endured childbirth without any meds and you're crying over this. Why?' I guess I was a wimp! That first week was HARD. Yikes. The pain increased and I was never so frustrated in my life. All I wanted to do was cry. So I cried and cried while J or my mum would comfort the baby or me and just sit with me while we worked through this. And work through it I did. My first goal was to make it 6wks. I knew once I passed that mark it could only get easier. And it did. I set a new goal. This time it was 3mths. Javan and I settled into a great routine. I was happy and content to be his provider.
I have to admit though that there were times I was so over it. I really wanted my body back. I was one of those unlucky few whose body didn’t get the 'get skinny while bfing memo'. Yea at first I dropped weight FAST. But then it stalled for a bit so I started working out which apparently did me no good cos my body thought it was being starved and clung to those extra pounds. I was dizzy, weak and exhausted all the time. I remember so clearly almost passing out after I fed him one day. Did I really want to feel like this all the time? And then one by one friends who had babies around the time I had Javan started to quit breastfeeding cos it was ‘inconvenient’ but every time I held my baby and fed him I knew that whatever he was getting from me was so much more important than whatever was convenient. So I decided to keep going. I had made it this far so what’s another month or two, maybe even three...
I returned to work full time when Javan was 17wks old and the pump became my close friend. Every day was a game for me. How many ounces could I get today? Could I beat yesterday's batch! I was a crazy pumping machine which provided much amusement to my very supportive husband. Our freezer was taken over by breast milk! A new goal was set: this time 6mths, then 9mths and then finally 12mths. Javan and I trudged along. We were really pros at this point!
My only struggle (thankfully) was plugged ducts and I did get engorged a lot. Those were not fun times but they I was able to manage the pain and pumping did help this. I finally retired that pump when Javan was 3wks shy of his first birthday. I was so sick of it by this time. I'd carry it to the office and then would go home and have nothing to put in the freezer. Finally I just decided I'd had enough. Javan didn't want to have his milk from a bottle or sippy, he just wanted me to feed him so what was the point anyway?
The day Javan turned one, I was so excited. I had made through a whole year of breastfeeding. My baby has not a cold, ear infection, or any other illness except for a slight fever before his second tooth broke through and I know the fact that he was breastfed really played a major part in keeping him healthy.
Since his first birthday I've been in the process of weaning him. It's not been easy for both of us. I find myself sad sometimes but I am ready to be done. I want to focus on me now but at the same time I know I will miss this special bond we have. The first day I dropped a feeding, he was so mad and followed me around signing milk, so I gave in and fed him. Since then I've kinda let it happen on its own. He's self-weaning and it's so much easier that way. Hopefully he’ll be done at 15mths.
I know I might sound self-absorbed by saying this but I really am proud of myself. I can see how easy it would be to give up, but with all things its just takes determination and focus. I knew I had that. I'm glad I had this great experience the first time and know what I am capable of doing so next time around I won't have any excuses!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
* So thats my experience. Javan ended up weaning at 17mths. He wasn’t ready to give up his night session so I decided not to rush it. I didnt pick a specific day to stop but one night decided to give him a sippy with milk. He took it kinda confused at first but then it was no big deal! It was pretty sad to say goodbye to such a special relationship but I was happy to have bfed him that long. What was kinda annoying was the week after he completely weaned he got his first cold. Anyways I hope this will maybe encourage anyone who is currently bfing (or maybe even thinking of doing so) to keep at it and not give up when it gets challenging.
~V
22 July 2008
Flavourful Fun
Tom and Kuulei came over for supper on Sunday night. I knew we would be playing Mexican Train dominoes so I thought maybe we could do a Mexican theme dinner. I asked J for his opinion on what to make. He didnt even pause to think when he said 'they would prefer Indian food, no question about that' and he was right! We had a very flavourful dinner of various curries (chicken with potatoes and peas, potato and cauliflower, green beans and steak) with rice and a salad. We ate, went walking for a bit, had dessert while we chatted and eventually played mexican train - we tried a new game this time and we liked it so I guess we'll play this way from now on out.
Javan was so cute - when they arrived he heard the doorbell ring so he says 'mummy door. I got get it.'
Javan's playmate for the night.
talking gardening with Kuulei - she's truly a jack (or should it be jill?) of all trades!
the best way to end a fun night. so I finally won, not once but twice and wouldnt you believe it had to be the only night we decided not to keep score. oh well!
~ V
Javan was so cute - when they arrived he heard the doorbell ring so he says 'mummy door. I got get it.'
Javan's playmate for the night.
talking gardening with Kuulei - she's truly a jack (or should it be jill?) of all trades!
the best way to end a fun night. so I finally won, not once but twice and wouldnt you believe it had to be the only night we decided not to keep score. oh well!
~ V
21 July 2008
Watchout Evil Knievel
My son never fails to amaze me. This child has no fear AT ALL. Just when I thought I had seen it all, he proves me wrong. This time he played stuntman using his trike. I watched him stand on the seat and before I knew it he was standing up without holding the handle bars. He stood there in perfect balance, pumping his fists into the air and cheering himself on. He says 'great job javan! It is amazing to see him challenge himself and conquer what we sometimes think he should not be diong. He even took the time to pose for a few photos.
I believe we have a new Evil Knievel in the making.
Jermaine
I believe we have a new Evil Knievel in the making.
Jermaine
20 July 2008
'Hey, Careful'
I finally got around to hanging up the frames I took down when painting. My little handy man was right by my side, hammer in hand. He wanted to hold the frames for me so I let him help. He finally handed it over for me to do and just as I was about to hammer a nail in the wall he says, 'Hey' (pause) 'careful'. Good to know he's watching out for his dada.
Jermaine
Jermaine
19 July 2008
Kung Fu Eli!
Hard to believe but our godson Eli turned SIX on Wednesday (16 July). If time has flown by this fast watching him grow, I dont even want to think about how quickly its going to zoom by with Javan.
I'll never forget that day we were asked to be his godparents. Shelly and Ishi took us out to dinner (no special occasion a 'just cos' dinner and more so cos J was visiting from the Bahamas shortly before Shelly was going to have Eli). After dinner Shelly asked us if we would be Eli's godparents - J was so emotional that he had to walk away from the table. He cried cos he was so happy! It was a special moment for sure.
Eli's dedication - he was 2mths old
Look at him now!
we went up to Madisonville to celebrate Kung Fu style with him!
Javan munched on some hot dogs
and enjoyed swinging
here's a few more pics from the party
J helping Eli with his money!!!
Happy birthday Eli - thanks for a fun time! We love you so much and are so proud of you.
~V
I'll never forget that day we were asked to be his godparents. Shelly and Ishi took us out to dinner (no special occasion a 'just cos' dinner and more so cos J was visiting from the Bahamas shortly before Shelly was going to have Eli). After dinner Shelly asked us if we would be Eli's godparents - J was so emotional that he had to walk away from the table. He cried cos he was so happy! It was a special moment for sure.
Eli's dedication - he was 2mths old
Look at him now!
we went up to Madisonville to celebrate Kung Fu style with him!
Javan munched on some hot dogs
and enjoyed swinging
here's a few more pics from the party
J helping Eli with his money!!!
Happy birthday Eli - thanks for a fun time! We love you so much and are so proud of you.
~V
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